


Surfboard

by Jeenius_the_Dork



Series: Top Quality Fics I Totally Didn't Write in Five Minutes [3]
Category: Game Grumps, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Demon Summoning, Expensive Girl..., I'm Sorry, Jeenius is so fucking done, dan is scared, hey now you're an All Star, loosely based off an event that happened to me in highschool, save Dan Avidan, shitpost, the cursed image of Rap Mon in a lace blindfold is mentioned, this is fucking stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 13:06:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14716619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeenius_the_Dork/pseuds/Jeenius_the_Dork
Summary: Dan loses his beloved stegosaurus. He regrets trying to find it.





	Surfboard

**Surfboard**

  
  


Where was his stegosaurus? 

 

Dan had been prepared to leave the Grumpspace only to realize the toy dinosaur was missing. The logical explanation was to check where he and Arin record their Ten Minute Power Hour episodes. After all, that would be the last place the stegosaurus was.

 

To Dan’s dismay, the stegosaurus wasn’t there. He supposed he could ask Arin, there was a very good chance he was still somewhere in the building.

 

Taking a turn into the main Grumps recording room, Dan immediately regretted his decision. 

 

The room was completely dark save for a few candles. Dan could barely make out the dark figures of Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ross and Brian standing in a circle around...something.

 

He could faintly hear his fellow Grumps quietly chanting “Surfboard,” followed by loud inhuman screeching. They continued to do this, not noticing Dan had entered the room yet.

 

Careful not to get their attention, Dan crept closer towards everyone else. Upon closer inspection Dan finally saw what they were standing around. He was not happy.

 

“Are you guys seriously using my stegosaurus to summon a demon? That’s not cool.” Dan yelled.

 

Arin’s head whipped around 180 degrees, letting out an inhuman screech. Ross, Barry and Suzy soon follow. Brian continued to chant, apparently not giving one single fuck.

 

Dan stood completely dumbfounded for a moment, his brain was still trying to process the ridiculousness of the situation. Coming from the man who’d once confused Morrowind characters with real people he decided not to question it too much.

 

“I can see your busy. I’ll just come back tomorrow.” Dan said, walking back towards the door. He tried to turn the door handle, only to realise the door was now locked.

 

He can feel someone breathing down the back of his neck. Dan slowly turned around to see Brian, now somehow in his ninja costume standing there. Brian quietly whispered something into Dan’s ear, but the words don’t register in the younger man’s mind.

 

The stegosaurus began glowing. The chanting got louder as a man started to rise from the floor. 

 

The man is Korean and wearing a lace blindfold for some reason. He’s rapping to a song called  [ Expensive Girl ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjZ5CKKgRXU) . It’s terrifying and a horrible sight Dan does not wish to see. But Dan only has himself to blame. He could have waited for his stegosaurus.

 

The Korean man slowly advanced towards Dan, Brian held him in place so he couldn’t escape.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Dan asked.

 

“Shhhh…” the man whispered, stroking Dan’s face. “Hey now...you’re an All Star.”

 

Dan let out an pterodactyl screech, jolting awake. The fuck it was just a horrifying nightmare. He noticed he was surrounded by chicken nuggets for some reason. There’s also a college-aged teenage girl sitting behind a glass wall, typing on her laptop.

 

“...who are you?” Dan asked.

 

The girl whipped her head up, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

 

“Shit you weren’t supposed to see me. Rap Mon the nuggets!!” the girl yelled. 

 

The same Korean man stepped out of the shadows, carrying a bucket full of chicken nuggets. They have the odor of angsty tweens and the tears of Spider-Man fans. “I’m sorry Mr.Sexbang, “ Rap Mon whispered. “We are vessels of the greater power.” 

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Dan asked.

 

Rap Mon wordlessly dumped the chicken nuggets over Dan’s body. Dan immediately started to feel tired again. As consciousness left him, another figure stood over him. It’s a gigantic lizard.

 

“You have done well my pawns,” the lizard boomed. It began to maniacally laugh until Dan was asleep once more.

 

-

 

Jeenius looked at the Google doc containing her latest fanfiction. She ‘proofreads it’ (read as: looked for any red lines) and sat back onto her bed.

 

“I need a new fucking hobby…” she grumbled.

**Author's Note:**

> For context, back in tenth grade a couple of my friends and I were sitting by the third floor staircase in our highschool, commonly known as the staircase people did drugs in. A group of older students appeared, gathered around in a circle and started shouting "Surfboard" and screaming very loudly. I called it a Satan circle because they were clearly trying to summon something. 
> 
> This is how I got the horrible idea of this shitpost.


End file.
